Letter from mum as to why I've not been at school!

Okay, so this isn't a letter from my mum. And it's not related to school attendance. It's just a quick note to say that I've been crazy busy being an adult and moving out and all that jazz.

But here is the first blog post in my new place! :) Many more to come hopefully! I've realised that the more time I spend living life, the more inspiration I'll get! :) But here is definately the place to be when i do get inspired!!!

Keep checking back for more posts, random writing and stories of my adventures! :D

Kisses J xx

Goodbye (a little something I'm working on 2016)

 “You weren’t even going to say goodbye?”. A croak in his voice suggested he wasn’t happy about this and yet /i stubbornly couldn’t bear to look him in the eye. I focused on the train line in front of me; wonder how long this specific piece of track has been down, has it ever carried a steam train, did war evacuees travel the same stretch of metal I will travel today?

“Why are you doing this? Why now, why America?” Spoken like he doesn’t know me at all when on the contrary he knows me better than I know myself! “Is this the end?” he continues, “It can’t be the end, you know, our story hasn’t even begun yet…” Again I remain focused on anything but turning around; There’s around 15 people on this platform alone, they could be going anywhere, to work, to university, holidays.... moving halfway across the world to start a fresh life..

“Will you just look at me? For heavens sake… surely i at least deserve to see your face one last time?”

“The train approaching platform 2, does not stop here. Please stand away from the edge”  in a dark twist, that is, for some, the last thing they will ever hear. Whoah… okay, minds gone a bit dark there… bring it back Morgan.

“I thought better of you. I didn’t think you’d be this cruel. I loved you you know. I still do. but you don’t even value our friendship enough to say bye before you jet across the ocean. That hurts Morgan… have a safe journey”.

I can hear his shoes begin to clank up the metal staircase. He always did wear nice shoes, never saw him in trainers or anything like that, it was always shoes. A man of style and taste. Yet he had fallen for me. Of all people to fall for…. Messed up, little old me. I upset me he assumed i’d thought so little of him… The truth was, i thought so much more of him than he knew. For the first time since he’d stepped onto the platform, i glanced in his direction. He paused on the stairs and i froze, waiting for him to turn around… He didn’t. He continued up the staircase. 6. That’s how many steps he had til the top. 5. that’s how many steps I had before I lost my chance to tell him exactly how i felt. 5… I was terrified. 4… a lump had formed in my throat making speech near impossible especially taking into account I would now have to shout in order to be heard. 3… Why didn’t he turn around… does he still have something he wants to say? 2… is it worth it… does he really need to know?

1.

Wake Me Up In Nashville

So this Blog needs a video to show you the story. Wake Me Up In Nashville - Sam Palladio

This is an actor from one of my FAVOURITE TV shows EVER! ABC's 'Nashville'. It's fantastic and you should check it out!

This is Sam Palladio singing at the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville. At the beggining, Sam talks of his grandfather Owain and how he was training for WW2 in Florida. There, he came across this woman from Nashville. They dated and fell for each other, but it couldn't last as he was on his way to fight. But he promised her that he'd give her one last goodbye. So, on the night train from Pensicola Florida, to Canada, he told the train conductor to 'Wake me up in Nashville'....

It got to 4am and the train conductor comes in...

"I'm afraid sir, its 4am, we've passed Nashville. I forgot to wake you up. I'm so sorry". 

So, he went to war without saying Goodbye to his girlfriend. Now, obviously all was not lost, year's later we were blessed with the creative soul that is Sam Palladio. But somewhere out there is a lady who's probably eternally upset that Owain Palladio never said goodbye. 

It just reminds us, that people come into our lives for different periods of time... sometimes fleeting, sometimes for a long time... Yet sometimes they touch us more than we thought and we also need to remember that we're valued by others, even if sometimes it doesn't seem like it. People care about YOU. Even if they're not always there... perhaps they damn sure tried their hardest to be there but something just got in the way... Give them the benefit of the doubt. Like Owain Palladio, he tried... and that's a story that will be with him forever, it meant so much to him that he told his grandson. It touched his grandson so much, he wrote a song...

Next time you get annoyed when you told someone something in confidence about a struggle you were dealing with and they told someone else... perhaps they were worried... no it doesn't make it right... but perhaps they want the best for you and know the person they told could help you better than they can.

Next time someone says "I'm running late, sorry" consider maybe that actually, being late is better than not being there at all...

Next time you feel alone, just think of all the people you speak to, all the people who like your photo's, all the people who ask how you are... 

Think about the guy you haven't spoken to for a while because you think they're a little 'weird'... they do care. 

Kisses J 

xx

"What if I was an angel and this was a test"

Sorry for my absence! I've been holidaying in Los Angeles! And I've been doing a lot of thinking whilst out there. It's a completely different city, compared to London and compared to small town St Neots. Out there are tonnes of people trying to make it big in the City of Angels. They want to live, dream, love in Hollywood. But it's not that easy. With so many people chasing the same dream and only a few 'dreams' available... it ends with numerous homeless littering the sparkled streets. With cardboard signs and boxes to sleep on, rags to dress in and a shaggy dog for company, they do what they can to receive your generosity in the form of money. In my time there I saw signs saying 'Please give food, I'm hungry', 'Need food, work soon'. There's also the one's who just ask for money, in return they help tourists understand the metro ticketing system, which is more complex than it needs to be! But one sign I saw that stood out amongst the rest, (aside from the fact it was the biggest sign I'd seen)

"What if I was an Angel and this was a test". 

Well, what if it was... What if you had to give money to a homeless person, in order to get into 'Heaven'. Now I say it like that because I'm not religious. I have no qualms with people who are, but personally I don't believe. However, this person had a good point. Some people do believe and this could be the sentence that makes them dig into their pockets and help someone out. But then on the other hand, why don't people give to the homeless. Is it because we assume that their homelessness is their own fault, sometimes due to drugs and alcohol? Isn't that a bit shallow... Perhaps it could be because in their selflessness, they decided their wife and kids needed the family home more than them... Perhaps they spunked all their money on chasing their dream, hoping one day they'll make it big enough to pay back the debt they caused, hiring studio time and recording team so they can make that EP that they can sell on for $5 on the street. Perhaps, after his ex took all his money out of the joint account, and rent inflation, maybe that months pay just didn't cover it. We don't know everyone's story... We're never going to know everyone's story. But what we can do, is just try not to judge... Don't judge the people on the streets, begging for money to get by, when you're walking past with your designer handbag - you're fortunate, don't forget that. Don't judge the girl at work who goes out drinking every weekend - Have you asked if she's okay? Don't judge the person who's working 2 jobs - They might be trying to achieve a dream or keep themselves out of a hole.

There are two sides to every story.
Listen,
Learn,
Love.

"What if I was an Angel and this was a test?"
Religious or not, you can change the path you're on.

Kisses J xx

2015 - People numbers 24 and 25

"That Friday Feeling"

So it was a Friday night and me and my best friend had decided to have a liquid lunch, and go to the cinema and then in turn ended out in a little drinking session in our local bar. As always, the bar was busy... and seats were limited, we sat opposite 2 girls and they started chatting to us! 

These were the sort of girls with an 'alternative style'. I thought this was pretty cool, with her red lipstick, contrasting against her dark hair and piercings. Turns out, the girls were up from London, where they studied. One of the girls was from St Neots, until she left for Uni. 

"It's strange being back here. I see people I went to school with and they don't recognise me. They give me funny looks, which could be to do with the way I dress. You don't get that in London. We can walk into our local bars and no-one will bat an eyelid. We'll go there and we know the bouncers and we just chat to everyone. Everyone here seems like they're in their own world and you can't intrude. We saw you guys though and thought you two seemed nice, so we thought we'd say hi"

"There's not many good looking men here either. In London, there's so many bearded men! Beards aren't really popular here are they?"

Then the girl from London and my best friend got talking about Lipstick... I left them to it. But it did make me think about the difference between big cities and small towns. I've noticed it in Los Angeles and New York too. Perhaps its because there is so many people there that there's half the chance that you don't know the person next to you on the bus, compare that to small towns whereby there's half a chance you're related to the person on the bus! 

But yes, a good night was had by all and the girls wished us a good evening and left to dance. We caught them later chatting to some blokes! (Ironically enough, without beards... perhaps they'd lowered their face fuzz standards...)

Kisses J xx 

2015 - Person Number 23

"Mr Talkative"

So if you actually read my last blog post, then you'll remember a guy I overheard claiming to try and guess where everyone worked? Not ringing a bell? You're a bad follower! Well, he was back and again he tried guessing what course another customer was on. Safe to say he got it wrong this time as he hadn't done his prior research like the last time.... (Don't know who I'm on about? Read the last blog dammnit!)
Well he was back and he was now chatting away to the customer he'd incorrectly guessed. Later on after about 4 pints of Carlsberg, he approached the bar again and we got talking about age and he noticed we had a Wham/George Michael tribute coming up. He then told us a story of when George crashed his car into a store and someone wrote the word 'Wham' next to the crash site in graffiti. I laughed because, I understood the joke, but my younger collegue didn't quite get it. (Wham used to be George Michael's first band. Wham could also be used as a crash term - for anyone else a bit clueless)
"MR Talkative" then said he felt really old at the fact my collegue didn't understand it. This then lead onto the conversation about age and music.
"I felt really old the other day as well. I had two 19 year olds in my class. Basically I'm 26, but I haven't always been in IT teaching. I used to work for a company that promoted big artists. I've been part of the crew that helped promote some of the biggest artists in the world! This one time I was working on Beyonce's tour and another time it was for Usher. So pretty big names and I was discussing it with my class and the two 19 year old's asked me who Usher was.."
"That's awesome! I know how you feel with age gaps and stuff, I speak to people about Waynes World and they don't get it!"
"I actually turned round to him and called him uneducated! Even if you don't know Usher in his 'Yeah' days... he's got stuff out now that kids should know right?!"
"So how comes you left that job then? It sounds amazing!"
"It's always better than it sounds. You'd spend 15 months working your arse off in an office, for about 4 nights of fun.. But the final straw came when i went Self employed. It was shortly after I'd won 'Youngest Event Planner of the Year' so I was pretty happy.. But this one event just flopped. I took the crew out for a Macdonalds after a show and after all that I ended out £10 worse off... this was before salaries and everything. It was just one of those jobs that could either go really well or not so well. I didn't want the risk. But I had the time of my life and I wouldn't change it."


Until Next time!
Kisses J xx

2015 - People overheard

Sometimes getting to know people all stems from overhearing their conversations with others. Now I don't mean holding your ear to the door and purposefully listening in... I mean the occasions where you accidently hear snippets of their chats. I work in a hotel restaurant and bar and so I hear varied conversations on a daily basis.
Our hotel holds conferences and serviced offices holding very important people. Some days I'll hear about world events and other times ill hear a group of policewomen spending two hours discussing their cats. I've heard motor groups saying how where you sit at a table correlates with the kind of person you are... apparently independent people tend to leave spaces in between others and if the space is to the left then it shows you like the power... like in driving a right hand drive. A lot of the conversations I hear are about their sleep and how comfortable our beds are!
Last night however, on the bar I heard a customer approach another customer and ask if he can guess what sort of industry they worked in.. He guessed she worked in 'hospitality or travel'. She was impressed as she works for a massive worldwide travel operator! He then smiled and said 'I cheated, I spoke to one of your collegues earlier!'. Then they split off and started talking to each other. It really is that simple to get talking to someone... and yet sometimes people still struggle. Listening in to people conversations makes me realise that a conversation doesn't always have to be exciting about some crazy adventure... It can literally just be about... cats!

Kisses xx