30 Day Writing Challenge// Day Twenty-One: A Mysterious Box Arrives...

She watches the taxi driver as he pulls away. Standing in the pouring rain, Emily begins to wonder what was the point in coming back. She had only gone because her therapist had advised her to ‘take a break’. 2016 had been tough on her, she’d had a miscarriage, that had caused her to split with James and nothing had been the same since. The weather reflected her mood. Emily stared up at her flat and began the walk up the stairs to floor three. Approaching her door, she sees a package outside her flat. It was a small box, like something that you'd get a mug in and on it was handwritten “Emz”. That was her nickname.. It was the name all her friends called her.. Before she pushed them away.
Emily had taken the miscarriage very badly. It had made her spiral into depression and she felt the need to push away everyone she loved; family, friends, James. 
She bought the box in and placed it on the living room table, Emily would open it later, but first of all, bath time! Emily hated flying nowadays. Hated being in such close proximity to others like in plane seats, so she just kept her headphones in and pretended to read. That usually kept people at bay.
After a much needed shower, Emily came down with her mid length brown hair tied up in a messy bun. Picking up the TV remote from next to the box, she scrolls through the channels. There's not much on at this time of night… Turning the TV off, her attention turns to the mysterious box. Emily puts it on her lap and opens it.
Inside there is that coloured paper that people use in gifts.. Basically to hide the gift. And there is a letter. She opens the letter and instantly goes to the bottom to find out who its from. 
James.

• Her heart sank. She missed him so much that even reading his name, in his handwriting brought back some very raw emotions. Emily read the letter, tears streaming down her face. He told her of how he loved her, how he never stopped loving her and how he will love her til the very end. James mentioned their song and how they used to dance in the kitchen without any music. He spoke of how they completed each other, how he doesn't blame her for what happened and how much he needed her. He signed the letter with “yours, now and forever James. PS, if you haven't already.. Dig deep to find what your heart truly desires”. It had been one of their sayings… Emz had always been the careful one who rarely let people in. He had changed that. Placing the letter on the side. She dug through the paper confetti and grabbed hold of a smaller box. It was a jewelry box. A ring box. Emz swallowed, not ready for what was about to come. Inside was the most beautiful vintage, white gold and diamond ring. The one she had picked out years ago when they just started dating. In the lid of the box there was a small note saying “I was going to propose on the 22 March 16”. This was the day after Emz had her breakdown and left him. Even at her worst, he still loved her. Turning the note over, it said “I'd still like to propose…”. Emz heart skipped a beat, she ran to the door, ready to run into the pouring rain for the man she loved. But she didn't need to. Opening the door to her flat and there he was. Soaking wet but still the man she loved.

30 Day Writing Challenge// Day Twenty: Write A Story With A Countdown In...

"I thought better of you. I didn’t think you’d be this cruel. I loved you you know. I still do. but you don’t even value our relationship enough to say bye before you jet across the ocean. That hurts Morgan… have a safe journey”.
I can hear his shoes begin to clank up the metal staircase. He always did wear nice shoes, never saw him in trainers or anything like that, it was always shoes. A man of style and taste. Yet he had fallen for me. Of all people to fall for…. Messed up, little old me. I upset me he assumed I’d thought so little of him… The truth was, I thought so much more of him than he knew. For the first time since he’d stepped onto the platform, I glanced in his direction. He paused on the stairs and i froze, waiting for him to turn around… He didn’t. He continued up the staircase. 6. That’s how many steps he had til the top. 5. that’s how many steps I had before I lost my chance to tell him exactly how i felt. 5… I was terrified. 4… a lump had formed in my throat making speech near impossible especially taking into account I would now have to shout in order to be heard. 3… Why didn’t he turn around… does he still have something he wants to say? 2… is it worth it… does he really need to know?
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30 Day Writing Challenge// Day Nineteen: Shuffle Your Ipod & Write About a Song

Its a song about life moving on and wanting to leave a legacy behind. Isnt that what we all want really? We all want to be remembered in some way. Sometimes its a song on the radio, a flower or a piece of jewelry. But whatever it is gonna be, you still get to choose it. Leave your mark wherever you want... Be proud of who you are and make your mark on other people! If you're an artist, put your art on display, put your words out there, hand down jewelry to your loved ones, let people know what your favourite colour, song and flower is... Be known for wearing odd socks, or having a stripe in your hair... Be you. Forever and always. Don't lose your sparkle.
J x

30 Day Writing Challenge// Day Eighteen: The Object Next To You Starts Talking...

Sitting alone at her Monday to Friday desk job, at 4.30 Friday evening, Emily wondered what could possibly make this day any longer. No one had entered or left the office in over an hour and even her tablet had died from too much candy crush. Emily had taken to playing with the split ends of her hair. At 4.37 she heard a mumble from next to her. Looking around, she saw all the empty desks around her, the sun shining through the window, but no one else was nearby. Where had this mumble come from? She sighs and resumes splitting hairs. "Hey. You still here?" Okay, she was certain that that had to have been coming from right next to Emily... But the only thing next to Emily was a stapler, a binder and a fan, which to be honest Emily had assumed should have had a more tinny voice.
Again, the voice spoke. It was definitely coming from the binder. "Hey. I'm talking to you, there's no one else here..."
"Urm.. Hi Mr Binder... How are you?" Emily said, nervous about talking to a binder, especially one she'd previously launched across the room in anger two days before.
"Mr Binder?! What are you talking about Em?" All of a sudden, the maintenance man Pete jumps up from the desk beside her and startles her.
Emily is stunned... And embarrassed.. "I should go home... Its been a long week" and a red faced Emily walks out of the office.

30 Day Writing Challenge// Day Seventeen: Highs and Lows Of The Year

30 Day Writing Challenge// Day Sixteen: Favourite Story

30 Day Writing Challenge //Day Fifteen: You Come Across Home Videos But Not All Is As It Seems...

• And so here we were again... Another year, another chance for gran to show us the damn home videos of us as kids... Usually I had my phone to scroll through Facebook so I didn't have to endure the "aww you're so cute!" But that had died and I didn't have a charger.. So here it goes. With help from my mum, the video goes in and starts playing. The rest of the family has their phones or their kids to distract them so its pretty much just me, mum and gran watching this. Uncle Dave offers to make tea, so he's out of the room. That was a good idea... Why didn't I think of that.
  Its the usual stuff, blurry videos of half naked kids. And here comes half naked me... "Go play with your brother Ellie" mum says to the camera. I've basically walked on, seen mum recording and froze, hand in mouth, staring vacantly at the camera. And ironically enough im here in my grans living room doinb the same, hand in mouth (biting my nails always was a bad habit) wondering who exactly mum meant by "brother". I'm am only child, so perhaps she meant a close family friend. But I do as she says and totter over to this other kid.
  In the living room mum must see my confused face. "Okay Iris, let's stop this video now..." "Mum, what did you mean by 'brother'" I ask. "Nothing, sweetie. Its just a phrase I used for your friend James" her eyes looked glossy, as in the kind of glossy when someone's upset. She was lying to me and not very well at that. "Mum, please be honest... Tell me what's going on". Uncle Dave has just returned with tea, to a room filled with stunned silence. All eyes are on mum. "I suppose it's time you knew" she starts. "When I was 16 I had a child. I named him James. But when he was 5, and you had just turned 1, we found out he was ill. He had cancer. This video was taken when you were about 2 and a bit and he.." Mum paused and just let the tears stream down her face. "He didn't last much past this video".
  I'm upset by this story. But I'm also hurt that I've never known this... How could they keep this from me for nearly 14 years.

• "Why am I finding out about this now? He was my brother, did you not think I needed to know!?" I scream across the room at my mother.
  "Because, the more you knew, the more questions you'd ask. Can we drop it now, you know all you need to know". Mum stands up and straightens herself, wiping the tears from her face and drinking the tea Dave brought in. No one else in the room knows where to look, thy continue scrolling through phones and playing with their kids, pretending they're not fully enthralled with the conversation. Mum gets up to leave and I grasp her arm as she walks by.
  "What are you not telling me?".
  "You were the only chance we had to save him. But I said no. I didn't want you to go through so much pain and operations. I made a decision. And I don't regret it because it means I get one beautiful, untouched, healthy child. It was damn hard and I hope you never have to make that choice"
  Stunned, I let go of her arm and she leaves the room. 
  

30 Day Writing Challenge// Day Fourteen: Throwback Thursday (Old Material)

So, this is an excerpt from a Script I wrote in College in 2012.

(Sarah and Luke have just slept together (Lauren is in a unhappy relationship). But he's about to tell her a secret)

Sarah: (She handcuffs him to the bed) I don't need, or WANT to know why you have these. But I do want to know what the fuck is going on!

Tell. Me. Everything. I will not be lead on a wild goose chase! Sit down and tell me why I should believe a word you say!

Luke: Because it happened before! I lost my girlfriend! Because I sat at home, not doing anything about the dream. We need to go. Mike is in DANGER!

Sarah: Tell me more!

Luke: FINE! All started when I was dating a girl called Lauren. She was a beautiful girl, a dancer. So talented, she was going to make it big! One night we had a row. She drove off and I went to sleep. I had a dream. It was a horrible dream, it woke me up straight away. But I didn't think anything of it. The dream was that she'd been killed in an accident.

Sarah: Oh my God! How nice of you. Fall out with your girl, leave her to die. You're a fucking Psycho!

Luke: It wasn't like that, I loved her. I didn't mean for it. I just didn't help her. Seeing her there, in my dreams, lying there - lifeless. It was so so scary. So I got up, went to my cupboard and started necking vodka. I thought it would help me forget. But the images were still there. Engraved forever in the back of my mind.

(Sarah hesitates, she can sense the honesty in Lukes voice. She sits next to him)

Then the paramedics rang. They said that Lauren had been in an accident and she was asking for me. She'd been paralised from the hips down. Laying there for two hours before an ambulance was called. All that whilst I was necking vodka, she was wishing for me.

Sarah: What happened?

Luke: I never saw her again. I couldn't bring myself to see that gorgeous face in pain. That beautiful girl whose life I had ruined.

30 Day Writing Challenge// Day Thirteen: Sonnets

I've never written a sonnet before!!!! But I gave it a go! I messed it up by combining an English style (abab cdcd efef gg rhyming pattern) with a Spenserian style (abab bcbc cdcd we rhyming pattern) thus ending out with a abab cbcb dbdb ee pattern!!! ✋✋

30 Day Writing Challenge// Day Twelve: He Was Always The Fool But...

30 Day Writing Challenge//Day Eleven: They Erased The Most Important Memory

• They erased memories, its what they did.

  After 2018 they decided too many people were drinking as a short term fix. This was usually to forget the mistakes they'd made but after a surge in binge drinking, The Company decided to do something about it. And so here it was: give them your money and they will remove any memory you want. People used it to erase car crashes, house fires, bullying or attacks. Stephen was a new customer for them. A cold, wet Wednesday evening, he snuck down the alley to the old underground station where The Company worked. He paused outside the door. Once he went inside, they would be able to erase every memory of her, is that really what he wanted? Or did he want to relive that moment over and over again? He smirked, he knew exactly what he wanted to do. Once inside, he took down his hood, the end of his nose was wet from the rain, so he wiped his face on the sleeve of his hoody. "Good evening sir. Do you have a booking with us?" The receptionist smiled, there was a strong sense of innocence to her greeting. After confirming his name and taking his hoody, she then asked if it was the 'deluxe package' or the 'standard package'. For something so dark, Stephen was sort of expecting more than what seemed to be a greeting more suited to a Spa. The receptionist tucked her hair behind her ear whilst looking through some paperwork. 3 deep lacerations were there, they were obviously wounds that had been reopened time after time. That was probably it, why the receptionist had been so relaxed... She had no idea what she was doing and every time she nearly got her head round it, they'd give her the 'standard package'. "Mr winters?" Said the doctor. "We are ready for you now".

• • A few days later and Stephen was in the pub with his friends. Having only gone for the standard package, where they only remove the memories you want gone, as opposed to the 'deluxe' where your entire identity is erased. A girl with brown hair comes up to the table. She's young say 17, her hair is curly and she looks genuinely pleased to see Stephen. Unfortunately he doesn't seem to reciprocate.

    "Hey dad! How are you!" She chirps as she takes a seat opposite Stephen. 

    Stephen takes a few swigs of his beer. "Sorry, do I know you?"

    "What do you mean? I'm your daughter. Dad?" "Sorry.. I don't have a daughter. Go find someone else to be your dad sunshine".

    With that, the girl stands up, her stool falls to the floor and she runs out into the rainy London streets. "Anyway, as I was saying... I highly recommend The Company... It really works!" 

30 Day Writing Challenge// Day Ten: Despite Her Being Marked Explosive, He Hugged Her Anyway...

She remained silent. Silence was her friend, it kept her from going insane, from erupting. For too long she had kept these feelings inside, constantly using her time trying to fix everyone else. But who was there to fix her? Who was gonna be there when it had all come crashing down around her. She was like a ticking time bomb. Tick, tick, tick, boom. The tanline on her wedding finger, marked her as someone to stay away from. One final push and it would all be over. 

Jenny found respite on the rooftop of the local bar. Its beautiful city skyline views and the colours of the sunset relaxed the ache of her mind and heart. The sound of the distant cars calmed the urge to scream out loud. Up here she was alone and probably as close to silence as she could get with city life. Suddenly the sound of shoes on gravel disrupted her thoughts. Who could it be? No one else knew her secret spot.. No one else would want to follow, surely? 

Arms wrapped around her cold body and pulled her into their chest. She knew from the scent it was James. Her longtime friend who she had pushed away when she got married because she deemed it too difficult. James, the unsung hero. Her knight in Topman armour. Then it happened. She exploded. But she did so with elegance. A subtle release as tears streamed down her face. Finally, despite her being marked explosive, a hug. The only thing she had ever needed... From him

30 Day Writing Challenge// Day Nine: Post It Poetry

I thought I'd take 'Post It Poetry' and add my own twist to it... So here it is! :)

30 Day Writing Challenge// Day Eight: Flashback Friday

Flashback.
Its your three year old birthday you've got the handmade rainbow cake from your mum. A small gesture for a small child.

Flashback.
Its your first day at secondary school. The halls full of eager kids. That one friend who you've been with since year one, seeks you out in the crowd and sits with you. Little do you both know, that in 8 years time, you'll barely speak twice in a year.

Flashback.
You've moved out. Lost friends. Gained friends. Broken hearts and had your heart broke. On the brink of adulthood and yet you still remember when life was simple.

Flash-forward.
You're juggling a career and a husband and the idea of kids fills every second conversation. Some days though, you still don't feel old enough.

Flash-forward.
Its New Year and you've got the family round. As the countdown begins, you start to rethink your life. Each sound of Big Ben reminds you of each passing moment.

Flashback.
Remembering the laughter, the love, the dreams, the highs and lows.

30 Day Writing Challenge //Day Seven: Newspapers

So I'm actually pretty damn proud of this!

Not usually a poet but it just kind of spoke to me in this way. I didn't need to read a newspaper to know what's going on. Shootings in America, possibly racially motivated. England's crazy battle over in or out of the EU. Conspiracy theories coming out the air about everything from 9/11 to whether Brexit was fixed.. The world has so much darkness and so much light!!! Don't ever forget about the light!!!

Dream on, dream big, dream bright!!!

Kisses J x

30 Day Writing Challenge //Day Six: Six Word Story

I actually really REALLY enjoyed this challenge!!! :)

30 Day Writing Challenge// Day Six: Six Word Story

30 Day Writing Challenge//Day Five: Introducing Me

At 23 years old I've finally discovered my passion for writing.. And apparently I'm not too shabby at it! I've got a great support network and maybe one day you'll see my name in the window of a Waterstones... Or more than likely in the corner of your Facebook news feed in an advert for Amazon! This#30DayChallenge is something I have made for me and the wonderful people at @tkotiuk to have a play around and get creative. And I recommend anyone to never lose your creativity! Whether you do something big with it or simply write it down and throw it away. Get it out there!! Let people see it even for a split second on Snapchat! You might surprise yourself with what they say! 👌

30 Day Writing Challenge//Day Four: Thought Of The Day

30 Day Writing Challenge//Day Three: A Second Chance

I’m giving you the power to turn back time, what do you do? Do you go back to that time worth forgetting? Forgetting that that decision you made in that moment was the very moment that lead you here. Here that is your 23rd birthday with your friends. Friends who love you, literally. Literally loving you, even unbeknownst to you. You the fool, the girl who smiles and plays the games just as well. Well, here I’ve given you the opportunity. Opportunity after opportunity you have wasted, yet here it is… the final second chance. Chances to say what you’ve always wanted to say. Say what you’ve always felt. Feel what you’ve always known in your heart. Heart question mark. Mark what is a chance of a lifetime. Lifetime of chances. Chances to be one. One with him.

30 Day Writing Challenge//Day Two: A Business Card With Nothing But A Number On It

What would you do if you found a business card with nothing but a number on it? Would you dial it, text it, throw it away? That was the dilemma faced by Jenny on her last shift at the brew club.
2 more hours she thought as she wiped down table 5. 2 more hours before her shift ended and she was due to move, again, to the outskirts of London whereby hopefully she'd be able to afford to live another 6months before relocation for a 3rd time in 2 years. This wasn't the life jenny had planned. Having spent so many years saving up to move to the big city hoping to follow her dreams and become a star, Jenny had begun to wonder if it was all worth it. "Why so sad?" An older, dark haired gentleman on table three asked. Looking up from the table Jenny smiled and apologised. "That doesn't answer my question" the mysterious man continued to stare at her. He had been in their all day holding what looked like business meetings with clients. Not wanting to be rude to the customer, but also not wanting to burden a stranger with how boring her life was, Jenny responded "sometimes life just doesn't give you any lemons to work with". That answer seemed to satisfy the gentleman and he smiled and took the last sip of coffee. "Maybe when you least expect it" Jenny was now completely confused by the strange man so she returned to the counter.
Catching sight of herself in the reflective surface, she noticed how tired she looked. Exhausted from city life, maybe it wasn't her time. Maybe she should just go back to her small town life and forget about the city lights. Turning around Jenny noticed the strange gent had left. Grabbing the cup and saucer off the table she noticed a business card hidden beneath it. There was something unusual about this card though, much like the gentleman it was vague and didn't say much. The only information on the card was a telephone number... And a detailed drawing of a lemon. Could this be the opportunity she was waiting for?

30 Day Writing Challenge//Day One: There was nothing casual about this affair

There was nothing casual about this affair. It was the beginning, the end, the rebirth. She needed this.
It was less of an affair, rather a business transaction. She traded in sex and sordid secrets for a sick sense of belonging. What had happened to cause this once happy and confident person, to spiral into an endless cycle of male grasps, feeding off their attention and lusting for more. It was this seedy passion that had brought her back from the edge once or twice with a "come over" text or  a "you look great" holler. She looked into the mirror before she left the house; red lipstick, blonde hair, glasses, all the ingredients of her new found fame. From small town country girl to ruthless rider of the night, a transformation had begun. ©JessMorphew

Jack and Jill - Dark Prose.

Jack and Jill went up the hill and there she was. The cold dead eyes of the stepmother staring back as she lay lifeless on the floor. With shovel in hand from a hard days labour, Jill looks at Jack; "Go fetch me a pale of water... the grounds too hard to bury this b*tch". Jack strolls off to get the water, he would never dare to disobey his sister. Upon returning, he see's there is more blood than before. Jill is standing over the body with a bloody shovel in her hand. Jack knows his sister has suffered one of her blackouts again. One of the ones where her eyes glaze over with blackness and she turns into a monster. That blackout was what got them in this situation in the first place. He dares look at Jill. That was the last look he ever gave as he goes tumbling down the hill.

So I found this writing prompt online and thought I'd give it a go!
Next month I'm gonna be doing a 30 day writing challenge! :) Stay tuned! :)

Letter from mum as to why I've not been at school!

Okay, so this isn't a letter from my mum. And it's not related to school attendance. It's just a quick note to say that I've been crazy busy being an adult and moving out and all that jazz.

But here is the first blog post in my new place! :) Many more to come hopefully! I've realised that the more time I spend living life, the more inspiration I'll get! :) But here is definately the place to be when i do get inspired!!!

Keep checking back for more posts, random writing and stories of my adventures! :D

Kisses J xx

Goodbye (a little something I'm working on 2016)

 “You weren’t even going to say goodbye?”. A croak in his voice suggested he wasn’t happy about this and yet /i stubbornly couldn’t bear to look him in the eye. I focused on the train line in front of me; wonder how long this specific piece of track has been down, has it ever carried a steam train, did war evacuees travel the same stretch of metal I will travel today?

“Why are you doing this? Why now, why America?” Spoken like he doesn’t know me at all when on the contrary he knows me better than I know myself! “Is this the end?” he continues, “It can’t be the end, you know, our story hasn’t even begun yet…” Again I remain focused on anything but turning around; There’s around 15 people on this platform alone, they could be going anywhere, to work, to university, holidays.... moving halfway across the world to start a fresh life..

“Will you just look at me? For heavens sake… surely i at least deserve to see your face one last time?”

“The train approaching platform 2, does not stop here. Please stand away from the edge”  in a dark twist, that is, for some, the last thing they will ever hear. Whoah… okay, minds gone a bit dark there… bring it back Morgan.

“I thought better of you. I didn’t think you’d be this cruel. I loved you you know. I still do. but you don’t even value our friendship enough to say bye before you jet across the ocean. That hurts Morgan… have a safe journey”.

I can hear his shoes begin to clank up the metal staircase. He always did wear nice shoes, never saw him in trainers or anything like that, it was always shoes. A man of style and taste. Yet he had fallen for me. Of all people to fall for…. Messed up, little old me. I upset me he assumed i’d thought so little of him… The truth was, i thought so much more of him than he knew. For the first time since he’d stepped onto the platform, i glanced in his direction. He paused on the stairs and i froze, waiting for him to turn around… He didn’t. He continued up the staircase. 6. That’s how many steps he had til the top. 5. that’s how many steps I had before I lost my chance to tell him exactly how i felt. 5… I was terrified. 4… a lump had formed in my throat making speech near impossible especially taking into account I would now have to shout in order to be heard. 3… Why didn’t he turn around… does he still have something he wants to say? 2… is it worth it… does he really need to know?

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